This wedding is not about other people’s expectations. This wedding is not about fulfilling prescribed roles, taking part in patriarchal tradition, or making anybody happy other than ourselves. This wedding is not about what anyone else wants. My only acquiescence is the fact that we’re turning this day into an event, instead of this wedding being about what the marriage will be about – two people madly in love with each other.
But I refuse to let it be a spectacle. I refuse to let myself be “given away,” “taken” by anyone or paraded down an aisle. I refuse to have a day hijacked by status quo. I refuse to be a part of the larger system, doing what I’m “supposed to” based on some ancient dogmatic belief. I will not pay for things I have no interest or use in or for, respectively.
I will not listen to speeches about why this day is important to anyone else, or for anyone else. I will not entertain questions regarding my uterus and her future plans. I will not become a “Mrs.,” but remain a “Ms.,” like i’ve always been, because my existence isn’t defined by whether I’m attached to a man or not. My role in this world, and my goals in this life, do not alter with this marriage.
We will throw a great party. We will laugh and dance and drink and sing and celebrate this union. It’s going to feel like we’re all 22 years old again, without the baggage. We will eat tacos and make endless great-bad puns with our best friends. We might cry a little, because emotions wii be high and we are in love so deeply. We will kiss a lot. We will dress up and feel great. We will put together a day that is so obviously, honestly us that it will be impossible to see the day turning out any other way. It will be perfect, because it will be what we wanted and what makes sense.